Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your life must really suck when no one even likes the catfish version of you.
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
In space they just call it "Jam"
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
CPR is the human version of blowing in to a video game cartridge hoping it`ll work again.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
I burned my mouth on my pizza and I feel this is a strong metaphor showing me that the ones we love can hurt us the most.
After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I`d rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride