Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
I`m trying to live healthier......but I`m considering taking up cigars, since they`re still the coolest way to light dynamite fuses.
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
You are here: X
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.
It`s okay I`ll text myself back.