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"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
If you`ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99