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Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
I`m as nutty as a squirell fart
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with