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Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
Stole a cart from this woman at Walmart today. I like to think of it as playing grand theft auto suburbs edition.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
Half a dozen: because “six” is way to long.
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.