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I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...
If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
for every like, I will fart on my wife face