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Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.