Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
Sometimes I whisper, "I´m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
If I hug you longer than 3 seconds, I’m picking your pockets.
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
There are a lot of side effects to smoking weed. Like never shutting up about the fact that you smoke weed.
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.