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I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
I’m giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
I’m glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
The only thought I have for the weather lately is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji.