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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eegs
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.