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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
I carry a knife, but it`s just in case of cake.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.