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Pizza is my favorite winter activity
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "PLOT TWIST!" and move on.
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were texting all night with a calculator.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.