Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm down.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
Mondays should start at noon.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
Deaf people don`t have safe words, they use stop signs.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
You know you`re getting old when Happy Hour is a nap.