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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
i dont like ling distance relationships so i move the fridge to my room
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
I´m playing hide and seek with the kids right now and they´ll never find me, because they aren´t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
I can always tell when I`m drunk. I tend to drop things...like my standards