Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it`s because they`ve just killed someone right?
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
Gym update: not there
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
Blacking out when you’re drunk is god’s way of telling you that it’s none of your business what you do when you’re drunk.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
I swear if my memory gets any worse, i`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.