Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
If you tickle me, Iām not responsible for your injuries.
Screw your recommended serving size. You don`t know me.
My grocery cart right now says ā Iām getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!ā And also. āI like fruit.ā
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
Iām not in denial, Iām just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)