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Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
Home is where the pants aren’t.