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Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
Why is that in girls tampon commercials they dance and laugh? Shouldn`t they be revving chainsaws and burning sh!t down?
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
Whoever figured out the `days of the month correspond with your knuckles` thing had too much time on their hands
Reasons to get out of bed: None.
I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That`ll teach `em.
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
My ex says that he will dance on my grave. I`ve now arranged to be buried at sea
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.