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Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
I saved someone`s life today. Well, I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of some idiot. That`s the same thing, right?
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).