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Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
Cant imagine the look on Obamas face when he saw `Olympus Has Fallen`..His next quote would have been.."No more Taiwans in the secret Elevetor office"
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside