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i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
“It would take too long to explain…” Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.