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I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
Lottery gives you a 1 in 200M chance of skipping work tomorrow...alcohol is 1 in 5. You play your game...I`ll play mine
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
My wife asked me to load the dishwasher. So I poured her some shots and told her to start drinking. And that`s how the fight started.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
I’ve thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up.
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.