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Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Well, the people outside are frightful.
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
So can we just skip to summer now?
Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you`re interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn`t our lawn ever look that nice?"
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, he’s under a blanket.”