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Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?Āæ
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a dictionary, and now I`m impecunious.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. Iām not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.