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My neighbors complained about all the loud sex they are hearing from my house. So now I have to buy some headphones for my computer.
I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.