Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.