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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
Saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Bruce Lee had a kung fu problem, it`s not a problem if you`re good at it.
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
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Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.