Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was young I dreamed of saving the world, now I just dream of making through each month.
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
When ever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth and drink all the rum inside. It seems to help.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?