Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
Best Pregnancy T-Shirt… “9 Months Sober”
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
The early bird needs a punch in the throat.
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.