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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
I end a sentence with `just saying` because ending with `dumba$$` would be offensive.
Drop it! Please, just DROP IT. - My dog, whenever I`m eating.