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I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every last one of them.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
I think my phone has a Miley virus,It stopped twerking
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?