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If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.