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I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
I would be okay with a ghost in the house if it at least moved a vacuum around the floors once a week.
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
I wish I had the kind of life my spam folder thinks I have!
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.