Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
If anyone every texts me "who is this" I always respond "Jake from State Farm"
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask, " Notice anything different?`... works EVERY time
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
It`s only a matter of time until "Security cameras of Wal-Mart" become a hit reality show.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis