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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
1, 2 Freddie´s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?