Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
Male camel toe? Dude that`s just nuts.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
That awkward moment when kids see a toy they want on TV but the can`t get it because their parents must be 18 or older.
Chip clips are for quitters.
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.