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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.