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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
I really hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
"I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can`t figure out boyfriend`s passwords