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If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies.
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
A woman saying "I`m not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won`t feel a thing."
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split