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Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
Marriage...betting someone half your stuff you`ll love them forever.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!