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The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
It`s called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.