Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was driving to work this morning and saw a bumper sticker that said, "Jesus is the answer." A few minutes later I saw another bumper sticker that said, "Who farted?" That was the best game of Highway Jeopardy ever!
If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
Just found out I`m pregnant. At least that`s what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.