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The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statusesβ¦dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
Wow, I thought βflash mobβ meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you`ve been doing since you were 15.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
As I get older, I`ve learned to relax and not stress over trivial matters. Just kidding, I`m drunk.