Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
Now I lay me down to sleep, a bottle of vodka at my feet, if I should die before I wake, tell my friends I drank it straight.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear... "Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep."
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.