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9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask, " Notice anything different?`... works EVERY time
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.