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People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “doesn’t know how to follow directions.”
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
I have a black belt in leather
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.