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Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
My mom says I`m special.
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
I hav 10 fingers bt i usd only.. the thumb to write this...!
Dear Lord, Thanks for making me funny. Especially since you didn`t give me much else to work with.
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping