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if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....