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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
You know why you like me ... Cause your f*ckin crazy too!!!
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.
That moment when being uncool, is cool
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.