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If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!