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Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
No matter how compelling and convincing the other person’s argument is, you can always win a debate by adding “yeah, but still” at the end.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.