Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.