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I saved my husband`s life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Iām beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
I cleaned my room and still smells like smoke, stale beer and sweat. This is the last time I use "Mr. Sheen" cleaner.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)