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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
My To-Do list for today is just a bunch of things I wanna eat.
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.