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Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn`t mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
I wish I had a job where I could punch stupid motherf*ckers in the face all day.
My life is based on a true story
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)