Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
If you’re getting dirty looks because your baby is crying loudly on a plane, start crying even louder and everyone will avoid eye contact
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” is a swear word.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I don’t even know what that means, but now I’m hungry.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail ... JK ...It was me.
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!