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Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
I Googled, “Who gives a sh!t?” and I was not in the search results.
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.