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It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a f*cking b!tch all the time.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
it`s friday o clock
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
Guys, freedom of speech doesn`t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.