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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
I cant remember the last time i forgot something
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.