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Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
One of the greatest things about owning a dog is how happy they are to see you even though you just stepped out of the house for 30 seconds.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.