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Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
How many calories does swearing like a motherf*cker burn?
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don`t think it`s weird when I have jam in my hair.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets