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Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Plus a social media overreaction.
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?
Reincarnation is my only hope.