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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?