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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
I need new swear words.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.