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Who else has dropped the phone on their face while laying in bed reading Facebook?
I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
My fridge is so full of beer ... I`m going to have to drink my way back to the food or starve.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
A recent report shows that people who smoke weed get into 85% fewer car crashes than drunk people. Obviously. It`s a lot easier to see what`s coming when you`re only driving at eleven miles an hour.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
i`m my own therapist...which explains so much.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
If I could have a superpower, it would be the ability to watch people workout and then absorb their health benefits...
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>