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Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
It’s fun to pull someone’s leg… but don’t ever pull their finger.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
it`s friday o clock
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.