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I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
You can test my patience all you want, but I’m never going to pass.
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Someone asked an old man: "After 70yrs you still call your wife Darling, Honey and Luv. What`s the secret?"... Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago & I`m scared 2 ask her.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
I just ran a .003048K
Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.