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I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
Did the Energizer Bunny finally stop going and going, and none of us even noticed it?
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.