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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

50% of people believe s@x is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are guys
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
Life is like a box of chocolates and you`re on a diet so you can`t even enjoy it.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
Sea levels aren’t rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.
Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.
Dear Social Media, thanks for showing me that I can like people. So long as I don`t have to see, touch, or smell them.