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There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.
And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
All milk is breast milk.
Don`t believe everything you think.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!